While venting might feel like a stress reliever, it can actually tarnish your outlook on life. First you have to figure out why you’re doing it in the first place. According to research people may complain because they’re trying to connect with others.
We start a conversation with a negative observation because we know that will get us a bigger response than saying something positive would.” While that may be the case for some people, others might complain because their outlook on life is bleak and they only know how to talk about negative situations rather than positive ones. Kowalski (a psychology professor at Clemson University) said there are two categories of complaints: instrumental and expressive. Instrumental complaints are about hoping to resolve the issue by finding a solution. Expressive complaints, on the other hand, are just about venting and not really looking to fix the problem. But whatever the reason is that you might be complaining, there are a few ways to tone down the negative attitude and help you enjoy life again.
Think Before You Speak
Before you open your mouth, pause and think about whether or not what you’re about to say is truly important. “When you have the urge to complain about something, wait 5 to 10 seconds and ask yourself, ‘does what I am saying serve a positive purpose or add to anything?’ If the answer is no, practice holding your tongue.
While complaining can feel like a stress reliever, it’s better to find a solution to your problems so you won’t have to deal with the issues for longer than you need to. “Try to change your thinking to be solution-focused, not problem-focused. Teach yourself not to just complain, but to have an answer to what you take issue with; this way you are adding to change instead of putting negativity out.
You become who you surround yourself with, right? Well, if you want to complain less, try to surround yourself with positive people. According to The Huffington Post, when you surround yourself is positive people you may be less stressed and find more joy in everyday life.
Sometimes you complain because you may be judging the negative situation or the choices other people may have made. But if you want to make a difference, allow yourself to accept that you cannot control every situation.
While you can be grateful for your cat every single day, it may be more beneficial if you can think of new things. Novelty can help evoke gratitude authentically so you feel it in your bones. Rather being known for the person who’s constantly complaining, be the type of person who brings positivity and happiness to all situations.